


Broken Glass

by dykeadellic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexaweek, F/F, F/M, Forbidden Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23002267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykeadellic/pseuds/dykeadellic
Summary: Lexa is a doctor at Arkadia State Mental Hospital, and Clarke is the new genius patient who believes Lexa is in danger from Allie the A.I. Can Lexa break down the walls to help a delusional Clarke, or is all hope lost?
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 16
Kudos: 82
Collections: Clexaweek2020





	Broken Glass

**Author's Note:**

> This was written (or I began writing it) for Clexa Week 2020, Day 1: Forbidden Love. I know, just another Clexa work to finish. But the idea nagged at me, and I couldn't help it. Please leave a comment if you want to see more! As always, I hope you enjoy it.

Lexa sat, staring at the patient’s folder that was sitting on the desk in front of her. The name read ‘Clarke Griffin,’ although Lexa wasn’t sure that was the young woman’s real name. Lexa was sure Clarke believed it to be who she was, but the blonde patient wasn’t all there.

Not to say Clarke wasn’t smart. Lexa had the sneaking suspicion that Clarke was the smartest person in Arkadia State Mental Hospital. The detail of how everything in her delusions worked suggested Clarke just might be a genius.

It was sad, tragic really. The genius in their midst was a homeless woman who had no one looking for her. No family had come forward to claim her; there was no missing persons report under the name of Clarke Griffin.

Lexa knew that at state hospitals, these were common situations. Families who didn’t understand mental illness often gave up on their sick family members. But something about Clarke’s case was very much different. Maybe it was how Lexa now had a starring role in Clarke’s delusion of a post-apocalyptic world. Maybe it was the way Clarke looked at Lexa as though she were the only real thing in the world.

Lexa admired Clarke, and that was a very dangerous and slippery slope. Getting attached to patients was not a good idea. Not when it seemed they might never recover. Indra and Lincoln had already warned Lexa about how devastating it could get if they could not reach Clarke. At the moment, Clarke was not suicidal, but if she believed in her delusional world to save everyone she would have to die, Lexa knew Clarke would do it.

There was a light rap on the door, and it interrupted Lexa’s thoughts.

  
“Come in,” Lexa commanded, her voice ringing with authority.

Lincoln opened the door and came into Lexa’s office, shutting it softly behind him. That was always ironic to Lexa; that this big muscled, hulking man was so gentle. His patients loved him for that; They felt protected with Lincoln, and they had every right to feel that way.

For a moment, Lincoln appeared to be struggling with what to say, though Lexa knew instinctively what he was going to ask. However, Lincoln firmly believed in the therapy of both the spoken and written word, so Lexa waited for Lincoln to gather his thoughts and words.

“How is Octavia?” Lincoln finally asked fear etched into his face.

“Your wife is stable, Lincoln. We are going to be doing intensive one-on-one therapy with her. She has taken a strong liking to Indra, so that is who I will be recommending to be her caseworker,” Lexa explained.

Lincoln sighed and then said, “I knew she was depressed. I just… I didn’t realize it was so bad that she would attempt suicide.”

“Lincoln,” Lexa began firmly, “you won’t catch everything. We might be doctors, but we are also human. We make mistakes. We don’t always see the signs in the people we love the most. Your wife is still alive, and she is getting help. You weren’t too late. Though why you would want her in a state mental hospital is beyond me.”

Lincoln gave a ghost of a smile as he said, “Because the best doctors are right here, working everyday underpaid, trying to do nothing less than save the universe.”

Lexa couldn’t stop the small smile from gracing her face. Lincoln knew how firmly his fellow employees believed in the work they were all doing, and he was right; they were underpaid. Lexa lived in an efficiency apartment to save as much money as possible. But it was all about the patients. Just because they weren’t rich didn’t mean they didn’t deserve excellent mental health care. They did deserve it just as much as the next person.

“Any breakthroughs with Clarke Griffin?” Lincoln asked.

Lexa sighed and shook her head.

“Not as of yet,” she said. “She still believes the medicine Thelonious is giving out is an artificial intelligence hell-bent on taking over the world.”

“What if someone else gave her the medicine?” Lincoln asked.

“Clarke believes the A.I., Allie has compromised all the nurses. We can’t force her to take her medication, but unless she does, we won’t be able to get anywhere with her. Her delusions are much too strong for therapy alone to help,” Lexa explained.

Lincoln stood in silence a minute before saying, “What if you gave her the medicine? Lexa, she trusts you for some reason. She looks at you as though you set the sun. If you gave it to her….”

Lexa sighed. She had considered doing that very thing, but Clarke’s attachment to Lexa was already viewed as dangerous by their boss, Titus. To feed into Clarke’s affection for her would be crossing a line. There would be no going back, and if the initial medication they tried made the delusions worse instead of better, Clarke could become violent.

“Lincoln…” Lexa began, “What happens when I’m not here to give her the medication? Taking it sporadically is worse than not taking it at all. We need to convince her somehow to take the medicine on her own, and I’ve honestly no idea how.”

“Isn’t Octavia her roommate?” Lincoln asked.

Lexa nodded.

“I might have an idea,” Lincoln said with a grin.

~~

Clarke lay in her bed, eyes open and staring at the ceiling, but her mind was a million miles away. She was in the grounder capital of Polis. In her mind, she was in a ruined skyscraper, awaiting Lexa’s arrival like she did every day.

Not that Lexa showed up every day. Being Commander meant Lexa was often busy with political issues and meeting with the Ambassadors of the coalition. A coalition that Skaikru was now part of. Her people were now the thirteenth grounder clan. They had the protection of Lexa’s army should anyone try to move against them. Like the Ice Nation, who didn’t want to accept Skaikru as part of the coalition.

Lexa was having a difficult time dealing with Ice Nation. Ontari, the Nightblood who had been hidden from them, was plotting something. Clarke just knew it by the way she ordered everyone around like she thought she was Commander already. Well, that girl was in for a rude awakening. Lexa was young, and she would be Commander for quite a few more years if Clarke had anything to say about it. She was willing to defend Lexa with her life.

Lexa seemed partial to her. In fact, Lexa spent much of her time asking Clarke for advice on political issues. She seemed to believe in Clarke’s way of thinking, and it was helping them to avoid wars. Hopefully.

Clarke had always known she liked girls. Even on the ark in space, she had been able to appreciate the beauty of a woman. But Lexa was different; she was drop-dead gorgeous. She was muscled like a Commander should be, yet still tiny. She was commanding, and her voice always had a ring of authority to it when she spoke to others and told them what to do. No one dared to question Lexa. She was powerful.

And yet, Lexa was soft. When it was just her and Clarke, Lexa’s voice became so soothing. She would often listen to what Clarke had to say. She never seemed to judge Clarke, and Lexa had admitted that she truly only wanted the best for everyone in Arkadia. Lexa was a leader who cared about all of her people, and Clarke admired her for that.

It took hard work to be a leader like Lexa and unite all the grounder tribes. It took a certain spirit, and Lexa seemed to have it, whatever it was. She was gentle and graceful, yet hard when she had to be. She matched the requirements of every situation, in Clarke’s opinion.

There was a knock on her door, and Clarke looked up to see Lexa standing there and observing her.

“Lexa,” Clarke faltered, “I’m so glad to see you.”

For a moment Lexa said nothing, and then, “That is nice to know, I came to talk to you if you are up for it. Do you mind if I come in?”

“Of course you can come in, Heda,” Clarke answered.

Lexa stepped into the room, her armor clanking lightly. She had her war paint on her face, a sure sign that she was busy with Commander duties.

“Clarke, I need you to take the medicine Thelonious has been trying to give you.”

Lexa’s voice was ordering her. Her gaze was level, and Clarke could tell she would not back down. But neither would Clarke. Lexa had no idea what the chips really were, but Clarke knew. She had tried explaining it to Lexa so many times, but how does one explain technology like that to someone who has never seen it in their lifetime? Clarke knew about computers; Lexa didn’t.

So Clarke brought her knees up to her chest and shook her head, unwilling to budge.

“I’m not going to, Lexa, and you better not either. What Jaha is doing is very dangerous. I know you don’t understand it, but you have to trust me. If you take it, you’ll be taken over by Allie. You won’t be you anymore. I can’t let that happen. Your people need you, and I’m sure Allie would do anything to have the Commander in her control. So if I take the chip, it will try and get me to get you to take it too,” Clarke explained once again.

Lexa took a deep breath and asked, “Clarke, do you trust me?”

Clarke nodded her head.

“Then why won’t you trust that I know more about this than you do, and I need you to take the medication daily. I need that, Clarke. Or you can never leave. You’ll be put in the long-term ward. You’re sick, and I can make you better if you’ll just work with me,” Lexa told her.

Clarke shook her head. “No, Lexa. In this case, I know more about this. I’ve seen what Allie can do to people. She wants us all to live without pain or death in the City of Light.”

Lexa seemed to be thinking as she was tapping her left foot while standing there. She looked so upset, but how could Clarke make her understand that this was to protect her? If she took the chip, Allie would use Clarke to make Lexa take the chip. Unless….

“Lexa,” Clarke said urgently, “Have you already taken the chip?”

Lexa shook her head.

“No, Clarke, I haven’t taken anything. There is no chip; there is only medication. Medication that you desperately need. There. Is. No. Chip,” Lexa slowly said.

“Of course, there is! They are just disguising it as medicine now. They are one step ahead of us, but I promise you, I am not sick. And I will not allow Allie to get into Polis and take it over. This is my home too now. I’m going to protect you, and I have to do that by staying in my right mind,” Clarke explained.

All Lexa could say before she walked out was, “okay.”

Titus sat in the chair opposite of Lexa and drummed his fingers on her desk. Usually, Titus didn’t go to other people’s offices; they came to his. But Lexa was different. She was his favorite doctor here at Arkadia, and that was saying quite a bit. Titus didn’t have favorites.

Titus was on the board of the hospital, and for the most part, he ran everything. He gave his doctors a certain amount of independence, but in some cases- like Clarke Griffin’s case -he stepped in to see if he could help. He believed in tried and true methods. But Lexa was sitting in front of him, asking to do something that was not tried and true, and could ultimately backfire on them.

“Titus,” Lexa said, “If she doesn't engage with us in our world, we have to engage with her in her world. I know it’s not done, but she already had placed me in her delusions. If I can talk to her as though she is sane, I might be able to convince her to take the medication by saying we need a spy inside the City of Light.”

Titus stopped drumming his fingers.

“What you are asking to do could go extremely wrong. By feeding into her delusions, you could end up making them worse. I can’t allow it. Not when we haven’t exhausted every other method. We could get a court order that says we can give her medication to her forcibly. Why haven’t we tried that?” Titus asked.

Lexa shook her head. “Because she isn’t violent, and the patients usually have to be for the judge to go along with it. She isn’t hurting anyone but herself. She is just sort of… stuck in her delusional world, and maybe one day, it will get even worse. We just don’t know. What we do know is that medication is the best bet, and me earning her trust to get her to take it is possibly our best option at this time.”

Titus sat there in silence a minute. He knew he was old-fashioned, and Lexa was always on the cutting edge of therapy and psychology. He knew she firmly believed this was their last option to reach Clarke Griffin and bring her back into their world. But Titus felt he knew better. So Clarke would be with them awhile. They had a long-term ward for a reason. One day she would have a brief period of lucidity, and they would be able to get her to take her medication.

“Lexa, you know as well as I do that medication doesn’t always take away the symptoms. Her delusions are to the point that she may never stop believing in them. She may always think of you as the Commander. She may always hear voices. There is only so much medication can do on its own. Combine it with therapy, and there is even only so much that can do. We must look at the very real possibility that Arkadia will end up being Clarke’s new home,” Titus explained.

Lexa clenched her jaw for a brief moment before saying, “I’m sorry, Titus, but I refuse to accept that.”

“And why is that?” Titus asked.

Lexa looked at him as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Because she is still trying to engage with the outside world.”


End file.
